Someone starts dating you and they learn you are a Firefighter. How cooool.
Someone marries you and they are proud to say they are marrying a Firefighter. Still cool.
Someone starts getting pissed off when they realize what they said “yes” to was their whole life revolving around your role as a Firefighter that interrupts their personal and family life day after day. Not unusual.
Someone can’t figure out how to successfully manage this "fire family" lifestyle and maintain a loving relationship with you... You’re now their “ex.” Heartbreaking.
Firefighter's and our personal relationships.
We have all either been there or know someone who has or is there now. It's a very real issue that impacts every level of the Firefighters involved, those they work with and those who supervise them. You've seen it or experienced it. You, as a fire officer have been confronted directly or indirectly. Firefighters and their/our relationships.
"What's wrong Pat? You aren't yourself...."
"I try to explain this job and they just DON'T GET IT....""I am exhausted when I get home and can't stand the fighting....""He hates me because I love going to work...and his job sucks"
At IAFC's FRI a few weeks ago there were numerous excellent presentations...but one unique one really stood out and I have a clip of it below for you to check out. It's about us, our role as Firefighters and our relationships. Dr. Rachelle Zemlok, a clinical psychologist, who is the wife of a Firefighter, did the Thursday keynote and then had a class following-where there was standing room only. Seriously. This issue of our partners, wives, husbands and loved ones is apparently HUGE. The turnout to her program spoke volumes of just how critical the "personal relationship" issue is. Dr. Zemlok, an associate of Gordon Graham's, works with Firefighter spouses providing behavioral health support for the issues unique to fire families. In her professional role, she regularly hears about the struggles firefighter spouses face when it comes to raising a family and grappling with the unexpected ways the fire service impacts their lives. Watch her clip for more on this, on how to deal with or get ahead of this life altering challenge.
WATCH HER PRESENTATION ...fast forward to start at 34:50https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXdwhs11F6w MORE About Her Presentation:https://www.firerescue1.com/fri/articles/fri-2022-quick-take-worried-about-retention-invest-in-the-fire-family-y8K7rbsWeV4XdVts/